Changes Are Inevitable
I sat in silence for a long time today. I cried for the first time in a week, today. Life is changing and although I am use to changes, my life has been consistent the past couple years. I found a balance, I found comfort, but I know that comfort can be dangerous. When we become complacent in our everyday lives and routines, we get stuck. We start to put our goals and plans to the side when we become too comfortable.
My therapist that I have been seeing for 4 years told me that he was retiring, today.He said that this will be his last month as my therapist. It shook me a little because I realized that I will have to start anew with a different therapist in the near future. I have been thinking about it all day, and letting fear overwhelm me. I realize that as I enter into the last year of my 30’s that there will be changes on the horizon. I am changing, life is changing , and the world around me is constantly changing.
I remember sitting in his chair 4 years ago, being reluctant and hesitant to share my life story with an old white man. I thought that surely he would never understand me. I had a lot of prejudices about how different our lives and backgrounds were. Men are the root of a lot of my issues so a male therapist was definitely not my first choice, especially a Caucasian male. It took about a year for me to let my guard down, and it was up from there. I quickly connected with him, and our monthly sessions. Today he announced his retirement, meaning we had one more session together, at the end of the month.
I have mixed feelings, I know that he deserves to retire. I know that I am entering a new phase and that he gave me the tools that I need to handle many things. I will never lead a therapy free life, that’s never been my plan. I am manic depressive, medicated and it will always be a requirement. I am not ashamed of that, nor do I feel like therapy is a race. We are always evolving and changing, therefore we need people who help us on our journey. The evolution of C has to continue, right? 💕🫶🏽